Unhappy Australia Day

rip bhf

January 26: Crikey us Aussies are cranky at the moment. The country’s well-being index is lower than a Longreach dam. More people like colonoscopies than like Prime Minister Abbott. Why? Because a fish rots from the head down, that’s why.

The Man in the Lodge made two fatal mistakes, in my book. He’s unfair. And he’s up himself. That’s why he’s a dead man walking and that’s the sound of numbers crunching underfoot, you can hear.

Australia Day is the day we shower honours on our fellow citizens. Bit awkward this year since Tony Abbott reintroduced the British honours system of dames and knights and it reminded everyone how he was born in Blighty, boxed at Oxford and saw Liz 2 as His Queen. What’s wrong with Australian honours, mate? Did he just say Happy New Year and welcome us to 1955? He has made us feel we are again a bunyip aristocracy.

Sontaran

Abbott: the Queen’s man in Orstrayla. Buff, bronzed, botoxed, and for Dr Who fans, eerily similar to the warlike Santoran.

So what’s not to love about someone who was described by his own daughter as ‘lame, gay, and churchy’?  None of which is true, btw. Far from lame, Abbott is a fitness freak who travels the world with his custom made carbon-fibre  flagellator bike.  Sick people he says are ‘leaners not lifters’.

Nor is he gay. In fact he says he’s ‘threatened by gays’, and if the daughter was using the word ‘gay’ to mean naff, well screw her. The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree.

He’s not churchy unless Catholics have changed a lot since I was a kid and you don’t have to go to Mass on Sundays. Our Jesuit-schooled, former seminarian prefers a hit out on the bike. And what Catholic could cut 18 billion dollars in foreign aid, deny climate change and offer no shelter to refugees without going straight to hell. He’s playing chicken with God.

This stuff is Catholic 101: Put money in the mission box, help the poor, the sick and the homeless, and open your door to a stranger (it might be Jesus).

In Australia, Jesus on a refugee boat would be stopped at the border (in the middle of the ocean) and sent without mercy back to the soldiers he was fleeing. No succour here.

Abbott’s boss, Pope Francis, meanwhile, is specially concerned about women, the poor, refugees and dammit, global warming. No, our PM is not lame, gay or churchy. He’s fit, white and male.  (And apparently older men who pleasure themselves are the main rump of climate change deniers).

Abbott’s  a charmless leader. And tribal. He pointedly wears the blue tie of the Liberal, when he should govern for all. That’s his tragedy (and ours), a foot soldier promoted way above his pay grade.

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Hero . . . Bernie Banton, AO.

Personally, why I don’t like Abbott, apart from everything else: Well he was really mean to a man dying horribly of lung disease caused by asbestos. Abbott told Bernie Banton he was a pest. He told him he could pack up his oxygen and piss off. Bernie died soon after. Now Abbott’s deputy, Julie Bishop, used to be a solicitor paid by Big Asbestos to frustrate the claims of little guys like Bernie Banton. What a pair –  let’s agree the Prime Minister or the Deputy Prime Minister won’t be knighted for services to lung disease, that’s for sure.  Nor their cigar smoking treasurer.

So it’s Australia Day. It’s Invasion Day if you’re an Aborigine. The other Abo (our PM’s nickname when he played rugger) wants us all, at noon, to rise and with our shandies to toast the Queen and to sing Advance Australia Fair. I kid you not.

I love Australia, the Australia that’s multicultural and proud of it, unselfregarding and proud of it; the Australia that’s kind to a fault and prides itself on a fair go— a country with ‘boundless plains to share’ with ‘those who’ve come across the seas’ , if you believe the national anthem we’re meant to all sing at lunchtime.

I think I’ll listen to Yothu Yindi instead of “all those talking politicians”.

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9 thoughts on “Unhappy Australia Day

  1. I’m sorry your PM is such a dick. So many politicians these days are! With terrorism so rampant in the world right now, it’s hard to know what to do but I don’t think closing borders is necessarily the right thing to do. We need to start younger with all our children & teach much more about different cultures from all parts of the world. If we really have separated church & state, why can’t we teach the basics of other religions to help our children feel more included in society?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Benz, there are no simple answers but to me the world’s population growth seems unsustainable. Climate change will join wars, disease and famine in driving more people to seek a better, safer place to live. The Doomsday Clock has been set at 3 minutes to midnight.

      I yearn for good leadership. But I am sadly long toothed enough to know power and self interest mostly trumps our common welfare.

      People have lost their optimism under this government.

      It is 30 degrees on a lovely summer’s day and I know I have had the good fortune to have become ill in a kind country. I hate seeing that change.

      Thanks for looking in. Hope you are well.

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  2. I think you’re too kind to our PM, Barb:) He’s a prime example of the Peter principle: promoted way beyond his level of skill. And the same goes for his Cabinet. A bunch of arrogant know-alls lacking in people-skills or empathy, they trumpet Christian values while doing exactly the opposite. How many of them have ever asked themselves: “What would Jesus do?” The answer would certainly not be to take from the poor and give to the rich; to humiliate and further impoverish those who are dependent on welfare or to throw the desperate, homeless asylum seekers into concentration camps. And, actually it’s pretty damn insensitive to celebrate Australia Day on the date we invaded this country and took it from the original inhabitants.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I can never celebrate at another’s expense either, Merona. Any wonder the day has been overtaken by the chew and spew and get a tattoo brigade. But I do sense a lot of people are against the neocons and their cruel policies. Abbott to address the Press Club on February 2. Queensland is looking interesting and isn’t Annastacia Palaszczuk a breath of fresh air? Hope you are well x.

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  4. Hey Barb, What a fan bloody tastic Departure Lounge Blog.  Wow.   Wish you were our PM.  U so on the money dear friend.   Lame, gay & churchy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I so hope he goes SOON, and yes the numbers are crunching underfoot.  I’m surprised it’s taken them so long.  And I will be dancing & cheering when he’s deposed by his crew.Loved your tombstone epitah also.  hahaha.  how you do that?  You’re a genius.love & light,keep on blogging, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee??? you make my day.goddess blessings, Barbarella,Love you both,Hi to Francithx x x Suez 

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Suze, thanks. I loved your comment that Australia Day was a piss poor excuse for a party.
    I wrote this post yesterday before Abbott jumped the shark and gave Phil the Greek a gong! Beyond satire.
    This might cheer you up – the uncut version.

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